Last week I hit the wall.
It was not the case of an accident.
It was the part of the process which is intuitive crocheting.
I am not sure if there is even a word like intuitive crocheting. Yet, for someone like me who is less experienced and takes up a project without any reference to a magazine article or a blog or a YouTube video, intuition is the guidance. This is how I have been making my baskets for personal storage. This is how I have been progressing with the multi-colour granny square blanket for a friend’s order.
Last year, I crocheted a similar blanket. At that time, I did not have a plan at all. The intention was to sew the granny squares, which I had crocheted in plenty for practice, together. I had no idea of how big it was going to be. I just went with the flow until the time I reached the brink of my patience level. At the end, I had a blanket good for Dhruv’s size, thankfully.
This time, I had the direction from the friend. She wanted the exact replica of my first blanket customized to the size of her preference.
With the clear specification of the desired size, I did my calculation to arrive at the optimum number of squares for the length and breadth. The total number of squares to be crocheted was 345 of 10 cm each. This number is way more than the 126 squares I sewed together last year. It increased my excitement. I chalked out a plan with aplomb – 345 squares in 15 colour shades with a 16th colour for the border.
As I progressed with procuring a brand of yarn in 6 colours followed my 3 more later and working with them, I began thinking about the impact of too many colours on the mind. Will 15 colours be too many? Will they have an adverse effect on the friend’s mind when she uses it? Which colour should go into the border? The one I was planning to use as border turned out to shiny and sparkly. It was just one square with that gaudy border and I didn’t feel good myself looking at it. I realised I was going nowhere. Thus I hit the wall with this. I turned to my intuition for answers. This meant putting aside everything for the time being and waiting.
This week, for one whole day, I was dealing with an anxious emotion totally unrealated to the above dilemma. I tried practicing bringing my mind to the present moment every now and then but it was adamantly riding the wild horses. I tried walking it out going in circles around the apartment complex 5 times. Lastly, I pulled out a chair in the balcony to watch the sunset with a cup of green tea in hand. It was breezy and pleasant. I counselled the mind for a full half an hour. It felt better and then it rewarded me the answer to my yarn dilemma. The answer was stored in one of the shelves in the wardrobe in perfect colour and quantity to do the compatibility testing with the yarn I had been using all along. The testing gave me desired results clearing up the forward path. The square borders look soothing at present. This blanket will not turn up as an exact replica of the first one I made. It will turn out into a unique piece, that is for sure.
In this whole event, I realised I am not just crocheting. I am actually indulging in colour therapy. It was the colour therapy which helped in bringing me out of my depressionary phase when I took to colouring mandala patterns in adult colouring books and later when crochet showed up to my spirit. While I was writing the rough draft of this post in my diary this morning, I got the idea of exploring colour therapy in detail. Maybe, once the pandemic gets over, when everyone starts going out about their businesses, when my days will mean more than moving from preparing one meal to another, when I will feel a lot less burdened with the mundane doing part, maybe then one day something good will come out of the colour therapy knowledge and practice.