The Questions – Some easy, some tough #MondayMusings

The Kapil Sharma Show is one of the favourite shows of the husband and Dhruv over the weekend. I join them depending upon the entertainment quotient of a particular episode and it only happens once in a while. Mostly I find the jokes and punches cringe-worthy. “Mummy to ‘October’ (movie) wali audience hai,” both of them take a jibe on me and they are a ‘Total Dhamal’ wali audience.

In one episode of this show, singer Guru Randhawa was a guest. While the show was playing (it does not air for us since we watch it through online links) on the computer, I shared a little trivia about him with the husband the insights of which were gained by watching the ‘Son of Abish’ show. Next, it was the husband’s turn to share his trivia about Guru Randhawa been assaulted in his stage show in Canada. This attracted Dhruv’s attention and his curiosity antennas got turned on full alert mode. He felt compelled to begin his investigation starting from in which city the stage show and assault happened, who attacked him – the white Canadians or the Indian Canadians, why did they attack him, did he ever go back to Canada, etc. Obviously, Papa did not have all the answers so he asked Dhruv to defer his further questions and watch the show. The topic got extinguished here, we thought.

Next evening, Dhruv, out of the blue, came up with a new question for Papa – “Wo jo Guru Randhawa tha, uski pitaai din main hui thi ya raat ko? Was Guru Randhawa beaten up during the day or night?” This question brought to my mind a court scene where a lawyer examines and re-examines the ones in the witness box. I could imagine the next question coming (whether that day or later) – “Us pitaai main Guru Randhawa ke coat/jacket ka kaun se number the button toota tha?” It did not come to this question and we closed the Guru Randhawa assault case file that day moving on to a new topic and creating fodder for new dimensional questions. We behaved like Twitter and media channels.

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As parents, we are proud of the fact that we never stopped encouraging Dhruv’s questioning spirit, the spirit which has been shining for the last 5-6 years as soon as he started stringing words together. To begin with, it was just I answering his curiosity since both of us lived alone and now the baton has been claimed by the husband who has committed himself whole-heartedly to the cause. I have to say he enjoys the question-answer rounds more than me.

Dhruv’s questions recently took a serious turn as I took to watching the news of protests, violent protests and police action from India. It is difficult to keep the children away from the present state of affairs.

He asked me –

  1. Will there be India left when it will be time for us to go back this year?
  2. Kaun sahi hai – jo maar kha rahe hain ya jo maar rahe hain? Who is right – the ones who are getting beaten up or the ones who are beating the people?
  3. Kya students ne bus jalaai thi? Did the students set up the buses on fire?

In an attempt to give him my answers, I am coming face to face with what I believe in versus the informal lessons imparted to me in small bits and pieces over the course of growing up which made me think and disagree and yet did not matter much in those times but now that I do the threading up, the picture it paints does not make me feel good.

Linking this post with Corinne Rodrigues’s Monday Musings post

#Monday Musings

12 comments

  1. It’s good that Dhruv asks so many questions that actually set you thinking, that also is the serious kind and not just kiddie-stuff. Dhruv reminds me of my nephew–my cousin’s son–who is also too much into what’s happening in the world and why. He is in grade 4, I think, and thinks completely out-of-the-box, so unlike other kids his age. His thinking astonishes me, as does Dhruv’s.
    Really, what IS happening here? It’s like the nation is going to the dogs! Where is the peace we were promised?

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  2. It must be so hard for a child to process this. As we’ve discussed, we ourselves are finding it so hard to garner what’s the truth in the midst of all the loud voices clamouring for our attention. Hugs, Anamika.

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  3. The questions children come up with ! The other day my little one asked me what people ate I’m heaven. Before I could answer she said “ I know – they don’t need to eat in heaven because they’ve eaten so much on Earth !

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  4. I can imagine how tough it must be to process all that is happening in the country! And, even harder to explain that to a child who really wants to get to the truth. It’s been a very disturbing situation that we’re seeing now and no one really knows where this is going to lead to. I think kids and grownups both have the same questions—”Who is right, after all?” And who wants the best for the country?” We have so many questions but very few answers at the moment. Whatever it is, I don’t like to live under the current climate. But, the bigger question is—Where will we go from here?
    Thought-provoking post, Anamika! I can tell you you are not alone feeling that way. There are many of us in that boat right now.

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  5. It’s so wonderful that you encourage D to ask questions. It’s a great way to encourage their curiosity and learning. These questions about the current state of our country can be so difficult to answer. But I like his line of questioning. Hope he finds a happy and peaceful India when he comes back!

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  6. My son too asks me such questions, and what hurts is that I would always proudly say ” India is the best” and now for a NRI kid who has grown up in a multicultural society, my definition of best seems empty.

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    1. These aren’t easy times for sure, Anamika. I’m glad you allow Dhruv to asks questions, for it is only in asking questions that we can arrive to the truth. At the end of the day, I think it matters less who is right, rather than what is right. Those are much larger questions to grapple with – though probably it will be you, as a parent, grappling with it as you try to answer Dhruv.

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  7. I’m about to enter the phase and I feel it’s going to be challenging to answer her. India is definitely going to be here just with a few changes, only we don’t know if it’s going to be for the good or bad. Nothing now seems to be for the good though, still don’t we always live by that fragile hope.

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  8. I am glad Dhruv is curious though I also sympathise with you and your husband for having to take on the role of walking talking google. He must be an extraordinarily perceptive child if he is asking questions about the state of the country. Unfortunately none of us have those answers. With the media firmly taking sides and the tremendous amount of fake news around us there really isn’t any non-partisan reporting any longer. So none of us ever get to know what really happened and that makes forming opinions really hard.
    However at a very basic level we can talk to our children about the unshakeable aspects that make up India – like secularism and tolerance and love for now that will have to be enough along with the hope that all will be well. Good luck Anamika. And hugs.

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  9. On the one hand, it is good that he is asking questions, but on the other, it becomes difficult to know how much you should tell them. On the one hand you want to preserve their innocence and yet you can’t shield him from reality. It is a difficult time indeed.

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  10. Your situation completely echoes my situation at home. At times, I just can’t give him answers as it robes his childhood innocence. But gone are the days, when we can keep these things under the wraps too!!!

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  11. Oh my thats a lot of questions and what seriousness in all of them. I am glad you guys encourage his curiosity even though sometimes it must become difficult to answer all of his questions.

    The current times are indeed trying and I love his question about will there be a India left? Thats my question on most days to myself too. Its such a strange and sad situation the world over that the leaders are ripping the countries/people apart just to fuel their egos and bank balances.

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