My word of the year 2019 #WOTY #MondayMusings

 

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It is mid-January of 2019 and I am still not done with my reflections post for 2018. To be honest, it was not a great year for me, not even satisfying and it scares me to think of revisiting it. I have tried it. I wrote about it. I filled atleast 10 pages of my diary in an attempt to sort my thoughts to put together in a blog post. Unfortunately, this has not worked. I may be much stable at present but going through those 10 pages makes me go all tangled in my head. I simply cannot write a full-fledged 2018 reflections post.

There are questions in my mind about how and why did I let myself fall into the pit when I had sobered a couple of years ago. How could I let go of my awareness and get shrouded with a negative thinking pattern leading to depression? I used to be a positive and optimistic person then what happened?

The good thing about 2018 was a happy Dhruv. He was ecstatic to come to the UK to be united with his father whom he missed dearly in the 2 and a half years while he and I lived by ourselves in India. He loves his school and his teachers for their kindness. He finds it much better here than his school in India. My parenting responsibilities got shared. It was definitely not easy to raise him single-handedly over all those years. This has to be worthy of gratitude.

Maybe I was used to having my head full and then when I got a little free mind space, I didn’t know what to do with that. This should not be true for there wasn’t any free mind space. My mind got caught up with other aspects, those out of my comfort zone – never-ending housework, cooking, school runs, no financial independence, sort of forced socialization with not so like-minded people and no time for blogging. It became a vicious circle and there appeared no way out of it.

2018 was full of lemons and many of these lemons are here to stay in 2019.

Lemonade.

I decided to make ‘Lemonade’ word of the year. I settled upon making lemonade out of each lemon and have it sweet or salty as the day may have to offer.

A part of me wasn’t convinced with the efficacy of lemonade. There has to be a catalyst in the absence of which I may forget to add honey or salt and therefore have it sour and unpleasant.

My search, hence, began for that catalyst.

Last week, I was reading a book and there I found my catalyst word – Breathe.

Breathe is what I need at this hour and for this year.

Breathe is what I have to do when I catch myself drinking a sour lemonade.

Breathe is what I have to do to tune out the over-bearing negative, self-deprecating voices in my head.

Breathe is what I have to do to take time out and pull out my colouring book and colour pencils to calm the mind. 

Breathe is what I have to do to find the right wavelength to let good things find their way to me.

Breathe is my Word of the Year 2019.

Linking this post to #WOTY and Monday Musings hosted by Corinne Rodrigues.

#Monday Musings

 

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17 comments

  1. That’s one hell of a word, Anamika. And it resonates, because that’s exactly what I have been doing the past two days. Just breathing and being. Not caught in a quandary and the break neck scramble of life. I’ve done too much of that last year and it’s time to pause.

    Have always loved the idea of making lemonades when life hands over those lemons, and you redefined the concept, giving it a whole new dimension. Kudos!

    I’m praying that 2019 is a great year for you emotionally and otherwise. It’s not surprising how we batter and beat ourselves silly while trying to find our place in the world.

    I found this interesting Louise Hay 21 day Self love free workshop online. But now isn’t my time. Trying to declutter as many things, people, situations out of my life as I can.

    Thank you for this thought out post. It speaks to me on more ways than one.

    Happy tidings and God Speed. ♥️

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  2. All I want to do right now is give you a hug and make some chai for you.

    I can understand where you are coming from. I feel everything you wrote and I can now imagine that things would have been hard. What I loved about this post is how positive you turned this out in your head. Exactly how I would expect you to do.

    So as you breathe and let go or hold on, I wish you the best. I will be around lending an ear anytime you need.

    Take care and make the lemonade of 2019, the best ever.

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  3. I kind of get where you’re coming from, though ones challenges are always ones own and no one can quite figure them out. I love your choice of word. It seems perfect for the place you are in now. I do hope life gets better and that you find things to do that make you happy. Also, can’t resist passing on this bit of advice – remember to put yourself first – before the house, before the husband even perhaps sometimes before Dhruv. But you know that already I suppose. Take care.

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  4. Anamika,
    First a big hug to you and Dhruv- you are warriors and you have both fought the good battle and have emerged winners. The win is getting entry into 2019.
    About the 2018 lemons, those lemons are good because should they turn up in 2019 again, you will know what sort of lemonade to make out of them- salted, sugared, watered down or on the rock or even honeyed.
    I am not sure how we get into this situation of being cocooned into ourselves and feeling lonely in spite of so many people around us.
    Expecting lots of posts from you this year. Sometimes the UK weather itself pulls you down- because of the lack of sun and so on.
    Susie

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  5. I am rooting for you, Anamika, to pick up the pieces and win the challenges. Breathe is a very apt word in that regard. Last year was tough for you and hopefully with your new found resolve you will have a much better year. Good luck!

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  6. Yesterday, after reading this post, I wrote a nice, long comment and just before I could hit on ‘Post Comment’, current chala gaya! It was so annoying!
    Anyway, I am glad you chose a word…the perfect word, BREATHE. We all need to choose it as our word of the day, everyday. Well, life will keep throwing lemons at us everyday, out of the blue, and whether you like it or not, you will have to make that damned lemonade and push it down your throat, isn’t it? And, that is why we will need to remember to BREATHE.
    At times, though, we tend to forget that….But,Anu, do all that you can to prevent entering the cave of depression. Colour, read, write, talk, or just get out of the house, go for a walk..but, fight that demon. Okay? And, you know, I am here to talk to you, listen to you whenever you feel like talking.
    Just gather yourself, babez! And, show life who’s the boss!
    WIsh you luck!

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  7. Oh I loved the word lemonade and I could imagine you slaying this year like Beyonce. But Breathe is a beautiful word too. It gives me the feeling of slowing down and enjoy the little things that life can offer. I am glad you overcame the challenges of last year… Life can get tough at times, but all that matters is surviving and braving through those circumstances. You are strong to have handled so many things on your own. Kudos to you. I hope this year will be more relaxed.

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  8. Breathe is a wonderful word! I hope it serves you well, as you navigate through the difficult times. And I hope it helps you overcome them, slowly but surely. Hugs, Anamika!

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  9. Lemonade would have definitely made you smile! 😀 But I think yes, breathe sounds like a good word for the year especially given the tough times you’ve had. It will hopefully help you find inner calm and pay attention to what is needed for you. Take care!

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  10. You seem to be such a wonder woman Anu- parenting by your self and runing the house too!! Tough jobs and throughout your blogging I wasnt able to make out that it had been a task!

    Breathe is a beautiful word and I hope it helps to realise all your potential in this coming year. I hope you find time and effort for things you want to do for yourself and be able to do them too.

    Wish you abundant joys for this year!

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  11. Breathe is what I am doing these days. When it gets overwhelming I pause and take deep breaths. It helps.
    You make lemonade with those lemons and indulge in lemon face packs too. Put those lemons to good use in every way possible, Anamika.
    Wish you all happiness this year! ❤

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  12. I love your thought process and approach. Yes, when life gives you lemons, breathe and make a fantastic lemonade. Wishing you lots of happy and enriching experiences in 2019. Cheers!

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  13. I love the word—’breathe’! It speaks to me because I’ve been meaning to do this in 2019 in a more meaningful and conscious way, as I flow along, with life taking me forward. Breathing right makes me feel good especially when things are beyond my control, and looking back, I can say that breathing right has always helped me, especially when I’ve been caught between conflicting needs, and when too many demands have taken a lot out of me, leaving me completely drained, as I feel at the moment. I do wish that 2019 sees you in a better frame of mind and in a happier space and you continue to find time to do all that enhances your wellbeing and keeps you happy. Much love and hugs ❤

    Like

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