The Bespectacled Mother

Addressing my Depression (1) – Lack of sound sleep #MondayMusings

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Image sour e – Unsplash.com

Before beginning my musings today, first of all, I have to thank the readers of my last Monday’s post – Waddling through my depression, especially those who reached out to me to say they were going through a similar situation and my writing about my state was helpful to them in some ways and also those who sent me their healing thoughts and prayers.

Thank you.

In my last post, I mentioned a few changes I have planned to include in my life as a means to address my depression.

Here is the first one –

Since Monday, last week, I started wearing my Fitbit to sleep at night in order to gauge my sleep patterns. The trend, from Monday to Thursday, showed that I was staying awake for longer durations between the sleep cycles, tossing and turning and then the self-imposed (absurd) discipline of waking up at 4 am meant I was hardly getting 5 hours of effective sleep and thus I remained groggy throughout the day.

“Is this one of the contributors to my depression?” I reflected.

Since Thursday night, I incorporated a change. I deleted the morning alarms from the phone and I left the phone in the living room. I took the risk of deleting the morning alarm knowing it very well that if I didn’t wake up on time, Dhruv would get late for school. Missing school is absolutely not an option on any given day. Another thought was if my subconscious wants me to wake up at 4 am then I will be awake at 4 am, with or without the alarm,

Without the alarm, I woke up at 7.30 am on Friday morning, refreshed after an (almost) uninterrupted 6 hour 18 minutes sleep and well in time to prepare the breakfast and lunch boxes, to walk Dhruv to school, to come back home, take a shower and leave for therapy workshop at 9.40 am. All of this without an ounce of exhaustion. All in all, it was a good day.

I practiced the same thing – no alarms set and leaving the phone in the living room at night – on Friday and Saturday nights and my weekend went off well, unlike the last few months. On Saturday, though the chores did briefly show the tendency to cause me stress and headache and slow me down, I insisted on postponing the stress to evening so as to get the important errands done at home and from the market, on the cues of what Vishal Bheeroo shared in his comment last week. In the evening, I sat down for more than an hour giving the mind the promised time to stress out while I coloured. At the end of the stressing out time, I was highly satisfied with my artistic abilities on the paper. I think even my mind was satisfied because it quietened down permitting me another goodnight sleep.

3 good days in a row is a happy feeling and the 4th day, today, looks good too.

On a slightly different note, I have been reading ‘Norwegian Wood‘ and the character I most identify with is Reiko and her fight with mental illness. Reiko has added to my strength.

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My Saturday’s artwork

Linking my post with Monday Musings hosted by Corinne Rodrigues

#Monday Musings

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4 thoughts on “Addressing my Depression (1) – Lack of sound sleep #MondayMusings

  1. Sleep is the most important activity we miss out on, or compromise in our stressed out lives. I have seen what lack of sleep can do–to hubby and myself. Anu, I am glad you made these changes and are enjoying the results. Keep at it. It’s a habit you ought to develop, one that can be difficult to follow especially on nights when you are stressed and feeling low. And, also continue with the colouring activity. It’s a great stress buster.
    Love and hugs!

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  2. I think gauging the sleep pattern is an effective way and need to try it soon. I’ve been battling with sleep disorder for six months time and would wake up irritating at irregular schedules such as 4.30 a.m, 6a.m or even 7 a.m since I am not a morning person. It gets to you and screws the whole day. I tried calm app on the iphone and since three weeks been better since was able to sleep till 8 and 9 a.m. I am a late riser and prefer it that way. I am glad that my suggestion helped and also, learning from you as well on how we can improve the self. Yesterday, had bout of anxiety which is in control today and now you have encouraged me to speak about struggles. Honestly, there is both fear and reservations because of a lack of courage to write on a public forum say FB because of close connections. I did speak on Twitter though! Have you read Shaheen Bhatt’s book? I suggest that you read for it’s an amazing and honest book on her struggle. I can relate to so many things like that silly voice in the head and see if you have the time to read the review but more than that the book. Keep the fight on for we live on hope.

    https://vishalbheeroo.wordpress.com/2018/10/23/book-review-ive-never-been-un-happier-depressions-unveiled-truth/

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  3. I’m so glad to know that you are feeling better after getting sime much-neeced quality sleep! Do keep a note of how things are progressing and what is working best for you. We often undermine what a good night’s sleep can do, but it should never be ignored. Keep at it and get ample sleep. The stress-busting activities also hugely help. Getting enough rest is one of the sure shot ways to stay energetic all day. Get well soon dear!! Keeping you in my thoughts always!! ❤

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  4. Well done Anamika. Lack of sleep is the worst punishment your body can endure. Apart from depression it also adds to your weight imbalance. I’m so glad your going with your body clock and NOT the alarm clock

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