The Bespectacled Mother

Beginning October with gratitude #MondayMusings

How was your September?

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MIne was full of struggles with my mental health. What began at the end of July with perpetual exhaustion got converted into a constant feeling of being lost and disconnect with the world and also with myself throughout the month of August. Contrary to my efforts of getting back on track, September saw me amidst the throes of depression whereby I spent my days crying or lying in bed or both. It could have got worst if I didn’t have my virtual friends to confide in. Today, with the beginning of the new month of October, I can see I have loads to feel grateful about.

[1] I am grateful for my virtual friends, from the blogosphere, who checked upon me from time to time during the past 2 months. They heard my blabbering. They gave advice and yet did not hover over me.

[2] I am grateful to everyone who has spoken about mental health in the past, thus making it easier for me to accept it and seek help. I got registered with NHS Professional Therapy Services in the first week of September. The NHS queues are long resulting in a one-month waiting time.

[3] I am grateful for my parents, my brother, and sister-in-law who are my unrelenting pillar of support.

[4] I am grateful for my in-laws who are non-demanding and expect nothing from me in this phase of life making it somewhat easier for me to lead my life the way I want to.

[5] I am grateful for the husband’s presence. He has been patient with me, non-complaining and understanding of my need to have solitude and my unwillingness to socialize around with his colleague’s families. Mindless socializing has eaten me up.

[6] I am grateful for Dhruv being happy in his school. All his anxieties (and questions and concerns like why isn’t his foot getting any whiter?) have vanished after he got a friend, Mr. A, a new admission in his class, with the school re-opening after summer vacation. September was a good month for him with Mr. A around however this friendship is destined to be short-lived as Mr.A’s family is all set to return to India this month. This news saddened our heart when we got it this morning.

 

[7] I am grateful Dhruv is still interested in books and stories, no matter if I am the one reading aloud to him with lots of dramatic expressions to capture his attention. I wonder how long I have to keep reading aloud to him. The journey which began with a few pages of picture books has now come to reading aloud 20 chapters. I have to keep cajoling him to read on his own by setting aside fixed time everyday.

[8] I am grateful for the small little things which make my life comfortable in everyday life – the warm coat, hot water running in the taps, living in a safe and secure area, internet connection, phone, food on my plate, tea to my taste and much more.

I hope I am able to find myself in October and manage to stay around with my blog updates.

I wish all my readers a Happy October too.

Linking this post with #MondayMusings and Gratitude Circle

#Monday Musings

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18 thoughts on “Beginning October with gratitude #MondayMusings

  1. Hey Anamika,

    Sorry to hear that you’ve been having a tough time. Especially with the whole move, it couldn’t have been easy.
    Stay strong (I know – cliche, but we’ve got to!), and you’ll get through it. Though the NHS waiting lists are quite long, they are very helpful (personal experience here!)

    And if you’re ever in my neck of woods, give me a holler. You have friends. Always.

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  2. It must be sheer coincidence or simply soul connection that we wrote almost similar posts. I thanked you in my post and here I come across your post. I am glad to read your post. I am really happy that you wrote. A tight hug to you. Stay strong, remember ‘winter is always followed by spring’

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  3. Sorry to hear that things haven’t been well. 😦 And I am feeling that I wasn’t around to support you 😦
    How are things now? I am glad you picked the pen and shared with your readers. Do what you like and feel free to connect. Lots of love and hugs. Wishing you a better month ahead.

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  4. Happy October Anamika. Hope you are holding well. Yes, depression afflicts us in more than one ways and my anxiety issue keep coming. Do try meditation as well. But, good thing you tackling the issue and yes friends are a huge pillar of support. On saturday, spoke a to a friend on whatsapp on my issue faced and really helps. I am also planning to pour my thoughts in the diary.

    Stay blessed and may the energy be with you!

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  5. Dear Anamika your feelings are typical of someone who has relocated. No matter how introverted you may have been ( of course this is an assumption) in India, the isolation you feel abroad is terrible. I can well imagine how lost you must feel. In addition, the changing season makes it worse. SAD is a real time disorder that gets worse as the sunlight gets less. I’m sure you’re familiar with this having lived abroad before. Just keep cheerful . Write a journal. Who knows that book inside you may finally come out!

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  6. Heya Anu; sorry to hear you have been having a tough time on the emotional front – hugs to you dear girl! I am so happy to hear you found support in the online community as well taking the step towards therapy too. I sincerely hope you feel better soon!

    I think Septmeber has been that turnover month for most of us; I have been reading the Gratitude posts and cant help notice this common thread in most of them. Its a transition phase which we all need to push ourselves and not get complacent.

    Hope you write more often now and stay positive and focused on good things. Hugs Anu!

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  7. You know what I am glad about Anamika? That you introspected enough to identify the issue. That is the first, huge step that most people don’t take.
    I have also heard that Autumn and Winter , with it getting dark earlier and earlier, bring about a dip in a lot of peoples health.
    I have no doubts that you are doing to get a handle on this and work your way to feeling better soon.
    We may not be in touch regularly, but if there is anything at all I could do to help, do let me know. I mean it.
    Take care and prayers on the way for you.

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  8. Sending you hugs Anamika. Dealing with mental health issues isn’t easy. I’m glad you have a supportive network of friends and more importantly, a supportive and caring family that gives you the time and space you need to deal with your problems. I’m glad you signed up for counselling too. I hope you are back to feeling better soon. xx

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  9. Hugs Anamika… My love and best wishes from across the virtual space is always there for you. Sometime life does bring in difficult moments, with positive people around, surely it could be overcome. Little Dhruv has found his own world. and trust me nothing like the world of books to mature a child into a fine person 🙂

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  10. Hugs, Anamika. Hugs!

    I admire you for choosing to be grateful and counting your blessings in the face of what you are going through. This too shall pass, and I hope the NHS waiting time minimizes. How joyful to read about your son–I am sure he’s making you feel way better. Thank you so much for joining the gratitude circle blog hop. Sending you love.

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  11. You really inspired me. I think I need to make a list of all the things beautiful in my life and whenever I will feel sad or lost I will pick that up again and I am sure I will get up again.
    Beautiful post.
    Stay Blessed

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  12. Believe me, when I say this Anamika, I have been feeling low for the last four-five months. I was feeling worthless(to say the least) and was lacking self-confidence. I blame it on social media. You tend to compare yourself with others. But I am consciously reducing my SM time and I am feeling better. Tight hugs to you and take care. If it helps, please know that I am just a ping away. Lots of love.

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  13. pythoroshan on said:

    Lovely to see this.. I dont have it in me to write a whole gratitude post yet but have recently started keeping tabs of positive moments on my mobile to look back on.

    Godyears.net

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  14. Hugs, Anamika! It’s nice to see you were able to find happiness in small things as well. Hope October will give much more happiness and blessings. Take care!

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  15. Depression sucks, Anamika. Sorry you are going through it now. It’s a horrible, horrible feeling and that emptiness and disconnection is a hole like none other. I’m glad you are on the waitlist to see someone for help though. Therapy helps as does forcing yourself to do things even though there is no motivation. I hope you can get through to the other side. Sending hugs and strength x

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  16. Obsessivemom on said:

    Sending you hugs Anamika. I have a fair idea what this is like. I am so so glad you have a supportive network around you. That’s what’ll make sure you’re back to your old self soon. That, and the fact that you’re counting your blessings amongst it all.

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  17. shanayatales on said:

    Oh dear. I am so sorry Anamika, that you are going through this rough patch. I don’t want to offer platitudes by saying stay strong, or it will get better soon. Though I know you are strong, and you will get through this. Instead, I want to offer hugs. Loads and loads of warm virtual hugs.

    I cannot claim to have gone through what you have. But trust me I have been through several rough patches, where it felt like I have hit rock bottom. It wasn’t easy to crawl out of that black hole, but I did. And I am sure you will too.

    In the meanwhile, please know you are not alone. Not in the feeling, not in the dealing. Reach out whenever you need to talk. I am only a ping away. Hugs.

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  18. I’m amazed at your inner strength and self-awareness, Anamika. I’m glad that you are reaching out to get help and doing all you towards healing. Sending you love and light. Hugs.

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