The Bespectacled Mother

Things I fail to understand #MondayMusings

There are many things in the world around me which I fail to understand. I try to ignore them or accept them and when I can’t do either of them, I make it a point to devote one Monday post to them.

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So, here are they –

Filtered images –

Filtered images are the new fad today. It is beyond my means to fathom what should I appreciate when I look at a photograph – the subject or the landscape in it or the filters used in the process of clicking it or afterward. I may be fine with selfies and portraits but do not trust the (filtered) landscapes. The place may or may not be as beautiful as shown, who knows!

Clocks deliberately kept a few minutes fast –

I have been a part of a household for 7 long years where the clocks were always kept 5 minutes fast to prevent the people in the house from getting late. So, were they always on time due to the deliberate fiddling with their clocks? Never is the answer. Half-an-hour late was the usual average. Apart from this family, I have also known quite a few more families where this is the norm. And getting late as well.

People spending their whole life playing the victim card –

Bahus (Daughters-in-law) playing the lifelong victim card of suffering at the hands of their mothers-in-law and vice versa. Mothers playing the victim card on behalf of their daughters with the belief that their daughters are dukhi (troubled and wronged). Employees playing the victim card of being wronged by their bosses. If nothing else, then being a victim can also be about being wronged by one’s own stars or destiny. The list can get longer. How much courage does it take to put your foot down and say no to living a disempowered life of being a victim?

People showing off to each other, not their wealth but their illnesses –

“Ye le, tujhe agar diabetes hai to mujhe sinusitis hai.”

“Tere bete ko rashes ho jaate hain, mere bete ko to eczema hai,” I have been guilty of doing this myself.

It is as if we run on auto-pilot mode where talking about good health has become a passe and everyone seems to be in a race to prove who is the sickest of all. I have been privy to chats where people have accepted if they pose as healthy and diseaseless in front of a person who is bickering about his/her diseases, then they might as well become sicker than this other person. Therefore, it is better to put up a precautionary defence of one’s own ailments, How intelligent!

The never-ceasing doubts of the mind –

No matter how much I try not to listen to the doubts in my mind and try to work with conviction but the moment I go a little low on energy, it comes back with full force. This is related to my children’s book reviews. With every review post, I try to push myself slightly more. While acknowledgments from authors/publishers are motivating, lack of the same pushes me back. I am new in the game and I guess I have this challenge to work on my mind to overcome this barrier.

How about you? Do you agree with any of my above points? Or, is there something you would like to share with me and my readers which perplexes you?

Linking this post to Monday Musings and Microblog Mondays

 

 

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28 thoughts on “Things I fail to understand #MondayMusings

  1. Rather than a blog post I felt this was more like a script for standup comedy. I could actually visualise you saying this on a stage. It goes without saying that I was in splits.. especially that disease part… I also know of a house where they keep the clock 15 minutes fast and yet perpetually late..I think their brains know the trick..I almost nodded at all the points..great post..take a bow

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  2. Oh man I can relate to all of these. Perpetual lateness drives me crazy…so does comparing illnesses (seems to be a habit of the otherwise unoccupied).

    What bothers me about filtered images is that young girls and boys are seeing these pictures of people who seem perfect – and that’s where they set their expectations at. Then they grow up feeling “less-than” because they can never meet the standards of the filtered pictures…no matter what they try.

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  3. pratikshya2 on said:

    I totally agree with the ailment sickness competition part. That is just so true. Even I have seen my mother do so. It’s a favorite topic in family get-togethers.

    I would disagree with the filtered images part. I personally do not like portraits and selfies filtered but the landscapes are fine for me. (Snapchat filters are just a no no for me. ) My perspective here is filters are made for those who are not technically able to enhance their images – work on the contrast, brightness, intensity etc. etc. or do photo shop or photo edits. And neither do they have high-resolution cameras to click that picture that’s exactly the way it looks. So a filter comes to the rescue.

    Then again I would not like the image to be so much different from the real one either.

    Something that really perplexes me is people lying and going to great lengths to keep their lies. Strange. It puts so much pressure on the mind to remember things.

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  4. Ashvini Naik on said:

    I so agree with almost all your points, Anamika. And I love the way you took funny digs at these.

    Oh, yes, The filtered Instagram & Pinterest worthy pictures are so true. I seriously wonder how people think of smoothening, contouring, thinning, whitening (the skin tone & teeth too!) when all their friends know how look in person without the airbrushing.

    Well, tricking my neural networks with my clock has been saving all of my days, I must admit. 🙂
    And your take on the illness-boasting had me in splits! These are things that we all can relate to. This was a fantastic light-hearted start to the week.

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  5. Smiling.
    a. I’ll be honest and say I do fiddle with filters! 😉
    b. Some people are pathologically late – so that won’t work
    c. What to do? I feel today’s world encourages that to an extent
    d. Ties in with ‘C’, no? And the competitive world we live in. “Anything you can do, I can do better!”
    e. That’s sheer madness – but then again, we’re always ridden by self-doubt, aren’t we?

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I agree with the victim card point and the filtered images
    Enjoyed reading the post

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  7. Rajlakshmi on said:

    I am so used to seeing filtered lanscape pictures that I don’t even think about it. 😅 plus I use lightroom to brighten up pictures too… So guilty as charged😅
    People showing about illness… Hey bhagwan they still exist 😅it reminds me of an episode from Flop Show. These days I thought it’s more about showing biceps and abs and gym photos.
    And don’t let self doubt bog you down. Ekdum apni life ka superstar hone ka 😀

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  8. Anamika sharing your thoughts with a big wide grin. But heres one thing I am going tp pick from this… about doubt. I go through this( yes and i wonder why). My mind goes through these phases of doubt when it comes to my kids- am I feeding them right, am i teaching them right? Would they become capable individuals? Oh God the doubts are endless. Moments when I am far relaxed i keep wondering why, oh why, do I ever get these weird doubts?

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  9. Haha…true… I totally agree…aajkal sub kuch filtered hai, Anamika. Life bhi. Zamaana hi aisa hai 😀 I thoroughly enjoyed reading all the points you mentioned but the last one totally rules my life and plagues me all the time, be it in the roles I play or in my writing. Crippling self-doubts are the worst and they are the reason that I often do not go ahead with many of my plans in life. Aadat se mujboor, kya karein?? 🙂

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  10. Obsessivemom on said:

    I’ve been guilty of most of those – except perhaps the one on illness. The doubts – oh yes all the time in every thing I do, the filters – I love those and try them just for fun, keeping the watch ahead of time – yup ten minutes and it does help us in catching that bus every morning.
    By the way, you’re doing well with your reviews – it’s such an important niche you’re tackling.

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  11. Oh yes, people do that–oneupmanship? It’s rather annoying, really. And, the one about the mind–oh boy, Anu, it’s a daily battle I fight with mine, trying to shut it up while I go about trying to make changes within me that will prove to be beneficial to me in the long run. But, this mind, I tell you!Frightens me so with all sorts of scary thoughts–scariest thoughts and horrid images! Stuff I fail to understand why the mind does!

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  12. Oh, and I am guilty as hell for using the filters! 😛 Need to stop doing that, really!

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  13. Hmm I too don’t understand why people love playing the victim card and boasting about illnesses. But one thing that beats me is why people have conversations about places they have visited and make the other person feel he’s so stupid for not seeing XYZ

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  14. Cllocks made me smile – We have that at my home too but nowadays who looks at clocks? we check our phones instead.

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  15. Guilty of most of these things.
    About the last point, I keep having it every day when I see people posting about wins on blogging this and that and I feel I’m doing nothing. Or, what’s the point of my blogging.

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  16. Mali on said:

    Filters are just editing. Which has always happened. But yes, I’ve complained about travel photos that have been so over-edited that they’re no longer a true representation of what exists. And I’ve been known to do a “beauty” filter that smoothed out my face on a very rare selfie!

    I’ve started arguing with my doubting mind, pointing out when it is wrong. I’m hoping that practice will make perfect!

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  17. Super post Anu and each and every point had me nodding in agreement. The disease part is hilarious and is something that happens with regularity in my household.

    I have also never understood the clock bit- it never works! Rather I used to take leeway knowing it’s fast 😉

    Apart from the victim card, I am vexed most by peeps taking my availability for granted as I am “free” – child free , husband free, inlaw free….. much as I would explain to them that I have a life, despite not having these things in my life, their logic remains unchanged

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  18. hilarious post. For me, filter is a big no especially when it comes to snapchat, However guilty as charged for the rest three points 😉

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  19. I had a good chuckle! My clock in my house is on time, but the one in my car is 4 minutes fast…more because I can’t be bothered to change it than for any reason! I’m great at being on time, and rarely late… but whenever I am running slightly late, if I hop in the car and panic, I then remind myself the clock is fast and breathe easier (really should change it). I’ve only just started on Instagram, and looking at all those filters I can use is funny… usually I pick my photo because I like it just like that, but I have experimented with a few!

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  20. I love using filters. They do sometimes make a bad picture better especially the lighting bit. But I hate it when the picture looks nothing like the original. Most mobile cameras come with selfie mode that makes you glow, takes away all your wrinkles, blackheads etc. I have seen people complimented for their ‘glowing’ skin but in real life they have terrible rashes, blackheads etc. and all I do is roll my eyes. It can be annoying but it is widely prevalent. About being late, I hate it! I don’t know why most people are not punctual. That illness thing I don’t know but another trend is to compare diet and fitness notes. Overall, an enjoyable post, Raj!

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  21. cynthiahm on said:

    Setting clocks ahead! That one mystifies me.

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  22. Filtered landscape images, yes! They look surreal. They may look gorgeous, but they look fake and I don’t like it. I use sometimes in my book pictures when I think I’m not able to click a nice picture.

    I keep my clock 5-10 minutes fast. It helps psychologically. 🙂

    Interesting post.

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  23. Oh, I dont understand the rationale of keeping the clocks ahead of time too. One of our acquaintances keep it 30 minutes ahead and then there is another family which has a weird system. They have clocks in each room and there’s one even in kitchen and ALL show different times. I wonder how they function and no marks for guessing, they are never on time.
    I think filters are good, they enhance the look of an image and makes it more appealing 😀
    Playing the victim card is inbuilt in some people and we have quite a few of them in our family. Their negativity irritates me to no end.

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  24. I agree to all except in parts with filters for images. This one topic is always under a hot debate as the question is real vs fake. Filtering or editing sometimes enhances what a photographer wants to show and that is where I find it real. I am also not in favor of heavily filtered images that look fake. That turns me off but a decently work on saturation, contrast or brightness works for me. I would love for you to tell me if my pictures ever feel fake. I would love some feedback 🙂

    On the other topics – the adjusting of clock, I have never done that. Funny enough, when people are running late, they say – yeh toh 10 mins aage hai . Abhi time hai 😀

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  25. Pingback: “Is my foot getting whiter?” #MondayMusings – the bespectacled mother

  26. Some years ago a friend of ours used to click some gorgeous photos and process them in unimaginable ways to blend and mix and whatnot, and post it. I didn’t get the idea quite well, but after a heated discussion with my husband I was able to see the artistic point this guy was rooting for. For some filtering images is another art. And that’s okay I think, but using filters and claiming it as how you captured it is a big no no for me. Tell you a secret – I found out about a blogger doing it own his/her body images instead of landscape images, I couldn’t even look at that Blogger’s name without feeling disgusted.
    I used to keep the living room clock 5 minutes ahead of the actual time only to get my husband ready on time. I am always a 5 minutes ahead person and my husband lags behind. So to balance I do resort to some white lies which was since found out and straightened. Long story short, all our clocks display the same time, actual one, now. And we may or may not reach a place on time. 😀
    I don’t have a victim card other than the one recently issued by my little one, trying to get rid if it too, ASAP. ☺️
    That’s the way this world works I guess. Today morning a mutual friend of ours posted a picture with their new Tesla on FB. Showed it to my husband and he was so jealous. He so much loves that car and not in another 10 years we can buy one like that. Yet I couldn’t imagine him clicking a photo and posting it on social media if he buys it one day. I don’t think they were boasting but posting pictures of our belongings, cars or books, is in a way showing off, isn’t it?
    I believe you are doing great, Anamika. Doubts in a way keep us grounded. But never let that hinder your progress. 😊
    I believe this is the longest comment here. Count the words and give a prize to the longest commenter, please. 😁

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