“My name is Chalukya. I know you never expected a call from me, as famous as I am, but I’ve been given your name as someone who can help me with wri…”.
Me: “Er..er.. I am sorry Mr. Chalu kya you said you are famous but I have never heard your name before. What do you do?”
Mr. Chalu kya: “Umm…Ms. Bespectacled Mother, my name is Chalukya pronounced as Chaluk-ya and not as Chaalu-kya. I am an award-winning blogger in the Brainy category.”
Me: “Award-winning! I didn’t know there is also a Brainy category in the blogger awards. Probably, another niche. Anyways, how does it matter to me, I do not believe in awards not that I am not getting any, ever”. I talked to myself in hush hush tone covering the mouthpiece of the receiver.
Me: “Ok. Fine. Mr Chaluk-ya, how may I help you?”
Mr. Chaluk-ya: (To himself) She must be really funny to get my name correct in the first attempt after messing with it. This should go well.
Mr. Chaluk-ya: “I wanted your help with learning the tricks of the trade behind writing funny posts. You see, as brainy as I am, I decided to inject some variety in the form of fun posts on my blog and RaGa suggested me your name, this morning, citing your association with Balaka Basu who strongly recommended you for being an alien.”
Me: “Excuse me!”
Mr Chaluk-ya: “Hmmm…and also your quirky sense of humour.”
Me: “That’s better.” (Note for myself – never ever tumble out this secret of being an alien again to anyone. If I get famous this way, NASA might come to claim me.)
Me: “Before proceeding to help you, I will play a rapid fire round with you to test if you have it in you to be funny and how much work needs to be done with you. If your answer appeals to me, then I will say Green flag or else red flag. If you get 2 or more green flags, you will be eligible for my time. ”
Mr Chaluk-ya: “Okay Ms. Bespectacled Mother.”
Me: “Q1. Simplicty or Complexity?”
Mr. Chaluk-ya: “Complexity.”
Me: “Red Flag. Q2. Do you have a funnybo… Hello? Hello Mr. Chalukya? Are you there? Am I audible?”
The mobile phone, which was lying not far, couldn’t help staying still.
I picked it up to see 37 unread messages. I opened the Apartment’s ladies WhatsApp group to see messages in a row – Damn BSNL! Damn! Damn!
The BSNL telephone lines had gone dead.
I am taking part in the Write Tribe Festival of Words June 2018 and this is my post for Day 5 in response to the quote prompt “Hello,” said the voice on the phone. “My name is __________. I know you never expected a call from me, as famous as I am, but I’ve been given your name as someone who can help me _______.” (Write a story that follows this line.)