The era of silent rebellion #writebravely

My father gave me three life rules to live by:

  1. Study hard and get a job.
  2. Learn to drive and become independent.
  3. Drop the romantic ideals and become practical. For example, make friends with those who can be of use in moving forward in life rather than based on their character’s qualities.

The first two were easy, but the third one proved difficult all because of a cheeseburger. Let me explain.

20180626_113748_0001.png

I belong to the era when fathers used to be fearful dragon characters.

I was definitely one such fearful child. The moment Papa stepped into the house after work in the evening or at night, I would switch on my invisible interceptor to gauge the change in climatic conditions of the house. This change always happened in one direction from cool temperate climate to hot and stifling tropical climate and it happened often in any one particular week. This continued for 24 long years (with a minus of 1 year in between when I lived in a PG accommodation during graduation days in Delhi) until the time my parents sent me packing with my wedding. Imagine 24 years of fear – fear of his anger and fear of feeling humiliated.

It is now that I understand why he was like the way he was, why he reacted in the way he did. The reasons were many. With time and age, he has mellowed down. His high level of patience, playfulness, and involvement has made sure he has been the favourite grandparent out of all 4 for the past 7 years. Dhruv is 7.

However, back then, it was tough to understand him. There was no connect. I was always supposed to do as he said and I did, happily or unhappily. It was not a question of conservatism vs modernism but we were loggerheads on his practicality vs my idealism. He was not a bad father but there was little scope for democracy. Therefore, I took to rebelling every single time. And, thus my mother had to play the role of a communicator between us and also sometimes as an airbag for me. All his pieces of advice and diktats reached me through her.

So, while the first 2 of his life rules worked for me, the 3rd one did not because of a cheeseburger.

Cheeseburger? How?

In a way, the 3 of us were like a cheeseburger with Mummy being the cheese caught in between the 2 side buns, me and Papa. She drilled hard into my head, with her ironical skills of logic + melodrama, the importance of studying hard, getting a job and driving while she continued to let me rebel on the 3rd point for herself not seeing any novelty in it.

Hence, here I am blogging with my own ideals.

Uff…ye usool aur ye adarsh


I am taking part in the Write Tribe Festival of Words June 2018 and this is my post for Day 3 in response to the quote prompt Start your story with: “My father gave me three life rules to live by 1. (fill in the blank), 2. (fill in the blank) and 3. (fill in the blank). The first two were easy, but the third one proved difficult all because of a cheeseburger. Let me explain.”

25 thoughts on “The era of silent rebellion #writebravely

  1. Balaka says:

    Thankfully I had a father who was just the opposite..the only thing that I found scary in him was his godl medal in mathematics and how each time while teaching me maths he used to boast about it. Not only him the entire family and moholla used to keep telling me directly or indirectly that your father is a gold medalist, you also better be one. I always hated maths but just to make him happy I scored 80…i never wanted to study science or engineering but his dream was to make me one..but after my 12th he gave up on me and accepted when I took up literature instead of maths…he was never a terror and more of a friend and in later years a son to me…
    Your father is more like my father in law..my husband recounts similar memories about his dad…I was so used to a ‘cool’ dad that initially I used to feel very uncomfortable in front of my fil..but with time he became my favourite person in my sasural…and I am the only person with whom he used to talk for hours. Now both my dad and fil are gone and I miss them terribly..your post brought back all memories.

    Liked by 1 person

    • the bespectacled mother says:

      Having a gold medalist father and that too in Maths does not make life easier. It was good for you that your father was a cool person. I too have my own Maths lessons stories with Papa which I will write some other time for some other festival 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. syncwithdeep says:

    Love this writing that reminds me my strict disciplinary dad, yet full of love. As u said, moms were the ones caught between the two. Even I do experience the same being a mom to a teen, I get caught up between them like a cheese between two buns, unable to support or oppose.. both being my two yes, I cannot lose one.. I never rebelled my dad but I have seen my brother doing it. when it comes to me, my son rebels both of us. Absolutely a delightful post. Glad I read you.

    Like

  3. shellymona says:

    Though dads seem tough, they are full of love & care. And once we become parents, we start validating their perspective. And that cheeseburger example was amusing! Lovely post!

    Like

  4. Obsessivemom says:

    Aw that must have been tough. Rebelling against a parent is never easy. I’m glad you managed to make your way through life on your own terms with your own usools. Mercifully we had a very easygoing father. Mom was the strict one but we are all pretty close knit.

    Like

    • the bespectacled mother says:

      Everything was tough. Living in fear is tough, rebelling is tough and both impact the child’s mind negatively, especially when the rebellion is thwarted most of the times. But, times have taken a turn for the better. We are a close knitted family including my brother’s wife. We have our own family WhatsApp group which is a replica of the great Indian Laughter challenge, thanks to Bhai and Dhruv and sometimes the other members too 🙂 All’s well that ends well.

      Like

  5. Natasha says:

    My Dad was always cool as a cucumber. His value system was great and that’s what’s stuck to me along with his positivity.
    Though a professor and a teacher and a great academician he give me the liberty to be myself and grow. He allowed me to pursue adventising and writing. MA was the strict one among the two and I tried my best to meet up to her standards. 😊

    Like

  6. writershilpa says:

    OMG!! This is the story of my life.. I mean my childhood! That’s just how dad and I were, with mum playing the Peacemaker. Actually, she was a cushion to me against dad who was The Great Dictator. How I hated those days when I used to be in fear of dad, what he said, how he behaved. Ufff!

    Things did mellow when J joined college and he grew older. Now too we have our moments, but now I have the upper hand as I know how to speak to him. As a child, J hardly ever spoke in his presence. 😀😀

    Like

    • the bespectacled mother says:

      See I told you, I have been in the same boat as you, on your Fearless Nadia post. Bas mera dar bagaawat main badal gaya. Par jab bachhe bagaawat karte hain to nuksaan unhi ka hota hai. Also, any type of clashes or negativity is always deterimental to the parties involved.

      Like

  7. Vinitha says:

    Honestly, I didn’t the reference of Cheeseburger in your story at first, Anamika. Then later I thought about it and it clicked. I read the post yesterday but wasn’t well enough to spend time on my computer. See your words follow me around when I try to take rest! 🙂
    Anyway, being a rebel myself I understand you. But in my case, my mother is your father. It was easier to convince my dad and never easy with my mother!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.