The Bespectacled Mother

My Birthday Weekend #MondayMusings

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Me: A picture perfect birthday party!

Me: What is that?

Me: A birthday where you have an exhibition of cards, flowers and gifts displayed neatly amid other props, where everything looks just too beautiful.

Me: And a cake?

Me: Oh yes! The cake too.

Me: Husband and Dhruv singing ‘Happy Birthday to you’ song?

Me: That should not hurt. So yes, maybe that too.

Me: And dinner outside?

Me: Breakfast, lunch and dinner, all readymade. Doesn’t matter if it is from outside or someone cooks at home. As long as that someone is not me.

Me: Ahem Ahem.

Me: (Lost in thoughts)

Me: Isn’t it too much for asking given the kind of people you are putting up with?

Me: Ummm!

(I come back to reality with a thud)


My birthday weekend was a perfect example of the disparity between expectation and reality. I am a grown-up woman so why I am bothering. I shouldn’t. I should take it all in my stride but then time for Monday Musings came up. I might be pouring my heart here, in this post, and someone will turn up to comment “Nice idea for a post.”

No, this is not just a post. This is an attempt to invite backlash. Apne haste khelte aangan main apne hi haathon se aag lagane ka shadyantra.Β 

Don’t look for correct English, grammar, sentence construction anything because you will find none.

Friday –Β 

I dislike cooking dinner on Friday evenings. I look forward to having at least one time in a week where I do not have to worry about what to cook. Hence, we ordered pizza and just like that I was reminded my birthday party got over, even before starting because I have my health and the household budget for expenses to look after.

Saturday (The day I took birth, many many years ago) –

I stayed in bed till late. Dhruv came to wish me on papa’s instruction. I asked him to lie down with me to hear “I can’t stay. I have to go back to Papa after wishing.”

Nearly everyone who called me up to wish wanted to know what special was lined up for the day. I told them I was having ice cream for breakfast, to their dissatisfaction.

I waited and waited if the other 2 Homo Sapiens in the house had some plans but they stayed glued to the couch looking out of the window, watching the rain falling. Upon losing hope, I took upon the task of imparting several ideas to Dhruv about celebrating my birthday. In response, what I got will make you all lose faith in all my parenting expertise, the hullabaloo I have practiced and written about in all these years.

He said, “Apni birthday par itna kuch maang rahi ho, meri par to kuch kiya nahin?” This was not my sweet little boy. Had teenage dawned upon him early? Or only one and a half months of living with Papa had corrupted him? Or My brother’s aatma had taken possession of him because this was how we fought in childhood? The filmy Maa in me felt like banging her head against the wall with “Yeh sunne se pehle main marr kyun na gayi.”

I had to unleash out all the ‘supposedly’ fun things he and I did on his birthday. I made him miss his school that day. I experienced the embarrassment when the school called in to know the reason for his absence and conveyed their disapproval of missing school for other than being sick. Then I took him to a play centre where he played for 3 hours non-stop and happily. We even had snacks there. All Papa did was to drop us at the play centre and pick us up from there. Par Papa ka beta!

I cooked the lunch. I baked a brownie in a mug, only for myself, which turned out yuck staying in tune with all my previous baking disasters. Nevertheless, I scratched it, ate it and drank it.

Later in the evening, we went out to the big park where I asked them if they will walk with me, for me and Dhruv refused. He wanted to play football. Therefore, I walked the usual path alone as usual. And, then I cooked the dinner. Not in the park but at home.

Hasn’t it become a sob story with humour forced in?

Wait for Sunday.

Sunday –Β 

Sunday was eventful, in the right sense.

I did twice the work – 2 days of piled up chores (since I didn’t do housework on Saturday, apart from cooking), cooked 3 meals, ironed clothes for the impending week and made preparations for Monday morning. By the time, I hit the bed late at night, I felt like going out on a murdering spree.

This is how I turned 37. (Umar chupane se hoga kya?)

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In case, you are the one who has been with me for the last 4 years and have wondered how do I stay grounded and with absolutely no interest in materialistic pleasure, you know now where do I get that kind of training from.

To be fair, I extracted FitBit on account of my birthday gift 15 days ago.

Linking this post with #MondayMusings hosted by Corinne Rodrigues

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27 thoughts on “My Birthday Weekend #MondayMusings

  1. Aw poor you. I can imagine how unloved and unappreciated you must feel. But wait. This is only your first year in the UK. Wait for one more year or perhaps three when you hit the milestone birthday – by which time your Dhruv will have been completely indoctrinated by the Happy Birthday culture that is prevalent in the West. This is an overhyped celebration Anamika and as your Nani would possibly tell you – it’s not an Indian custom to celebrate birthdays. Traditionally we only celebrate the 1st, 16th, 18th,21st, 40th, 61st, 80th (and 100th if you live that long) birthdays

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  2. Are year yeh kya hogaya.. I don’t want to face this anytime soon. Fingers crossed .

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  3. Hilarious! As much as I want to say that sounds like my life too (without any pole star ;)), I will refrain from doing that and give you ideas for your next birthday.
    How about finding a few people who will throw you a party? Or can we ask Dhruv’s daddy before hand to book a table at a restaurant atleast for D’s sake? Can you order a cake and use D’s daddy’s credit card? πŸ˜›
    I know I am being mean but karna padta hai. Additionally – let’s start teaching Dhruv that karma has everyone’s address πŸ˜€
    What a fun one, Anamika! Loved reading it!

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  4. Hmm.. well you need to train them differently. I normally drop hints a month before my birthday so that they do not forget, or ignore it. But, I buy my presents as the hubby and the boys are totally clueless as to what goes inside the only woman in the house’s head. But, you need not wait for your birthday for a celebration. Thats what I learnt in all these years of living with the bwoyz..

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  5. Absolutely delightful ! Delightful because its straight from the heart and not embellished ! Its such a refreshing change from the highly curated lives I read about !
    Happy birthday my girl . Wishing you a million days that reflect the possibilities you see and may you find what your heart is looking for .. thats our prayer for you πŸŒΊπŸ’žπŸ’–πŸ˜πŸ’πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸŽ‰πŸŽŠ
    @ Parul Thakur … love your take on this ❀️😍😍
    Stay blessed !

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  6. My life early years of my marriage. Nowadays husband knows his wife expects to be pampered on her birthday and acts accordingly. Still he has not reached the flowers and diamond jewellery stage yet.
    Happy birthday, Anamika. You were born on June 16 ?
    Susie

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  7. Obsessivemom on said:

    Aw this is not good. You’d better begin training Dhruv in earnest. You don’t want another girlfriend/wife to suffer, right? The Husbands are a lost cause of course, but children are salvageable. Learn to throw a tantrum, girl. Do it for the betterment of the future generation of girls.
    Things changed for me after the kids. They make sure I get a gift and I have to specify I want handmade stuff or else they drive the Husband crazy with demands for me. Ping me for a one-n-one and I’ll give you tips :-).

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  8. Main hansoon ya rowun?? I don’t know seriously whether to laugh or cry.. next year I will remember your birthday and throw you an online party..and agar khuda ne chaha maybe offline wala bhi..

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  9. Arey you made me laugh. Well, I used to make a fuss about birthdays upto a few years ago with S. Woh kabhi cake lata hi nahi tha. Now he is my entire opposite. He hates birthdays, rather celebrating birthdays. He doesn’t like being the centre of attention. After 12 years together ab mujhe bhi birthdays celebrate karne ka kuch man nahi hota hai. But maine usko itna pareshan kar diya hai cake mang mang k kuch saal pehle tak ki he now brings a cup cake if not a cake!
    Loved reading this, Anamilka.
    Happy belated birthday again πŸ™‚

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  10. Hawww!!!
    Such a sad story, Anu!!! Hugs to you, darling..if that helps. But, I did like the humour you attempted. You are a brave girl!
    But, I have come to realise that as we age, our birthdays lose their charm. My last birthday, I remember, my maid was on leave. So, I was answering all the calls doing jhaadu, pochha and cleaning dirty dishes. Then there was the laundry. By evening, I was ready to run away!

    So, that’s life!

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  11. Oh Anamika. This was not nice! Even if husbands get jaded, at least the kids salvage the situation. You need to train D better. While I end up doing most of the cooking on my birthday, we definitely do have one meal outside with the family. And sure flowers don’t hurt. 😊 The sons make the effort to brighten the day otherwise I don’t feel very excited about birthdays either. I feel for you and I really feel it is time to throw a tantrum. Maybe the husband needs to see one.

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  12. Oh my goodness, I don’t know whether to laugh or give you a hug…I think I’ll do both! Men can be so dense sometimes! Don’t let them get away with it Anamika. Demand a celebration before the month is out. Seriously!!

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  13. Hugs Anamika. This was totally not fair. Growing up we never had big birthday celebrations. But after getting hitched my husband tries to make it my day. Now Kanna is all about everyone’s birthday. His rule is on that special day he or she is the King or Queen. You should convey both of them that it’s not fair. And birthday or not you need a break every week and on some weeks every day.
    But I must say that I loved the humor in this post. It made me chuckle and sad at the same time. You are a powerful writer!

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  14. Awww Hugs! And Happy belated Birthday!

    This comment got me laughing – β€œNice idea for a post.” πŸ˜‰ Haha!

    But in all seriousness, you should demand a birthday celebration. Hope the two men in your life read this post and get something lovely going for you! x

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  15. Awww! Poor, poor you! Men, I tell you! Doesn’t matter if they are young men or grown men. Actually, grown men are worse! But hey, I wished you on Facebook! So that should be good πŸ˜‰ Nai? But ye hota hai. in fact, birthday or not, humare to almost har weekend ki yehi kahani hai 😦 So, better luck next birthday, baby! πŸ˜€

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  16. I laughed on reading this especially when you say that in your filmy tone of voice…” main mar kyun na gayi….” but I could feel your hurt too…having gone through similar days in life in the twenty one odd years of my marriage! I guess men will be men after all and with two boys in my house who are usually clueless, I am usually the one who plans the food and the events on birthdays. I think you should go ahead and ask them to organise something special for you before the month is over, since they’ve missed out on your special day. And, yes, next year, definitely drop hints well in advance to both the boys so they better organise something.
    P. S. You can warn them that you’ll change from this year’s filmy Ma to Lalita Pawar next year, if they don’t. Watch out for their reactions. πŸ˜‰

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  17. shanayatales on said:

    Aww I can completely relate. My husband’s family never really celebrated any birthdays before marriage, so it was only after I came on the scene, that celebrating birthdays was a thing for my husband. Which meant I had the project to convert him.

    And for a while I did celebrate everyone’s birthday with full on enthu. And also was very generous about helping out with ideas for celebrating my birthday. But after a while I just got fed up with it and decided to hell with it.

    I now celebrate my birthday even if no one else does. I plan for it, and I completely indulge myself and do exactly what I want. More often than not, the other 2 members of my family join in, but even if if they don’t I always have a great time, because my plans are only centered around myself. So win win. πŸ˜€

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  18. Pingback: A leaf out of holidays #MondayMusings – the bespectacled mother

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