The revolting mind #MondayMusings

20160603_120953.jpg

I was sitting outside in the room’s balcony with a cup of tea and a book which I had packed along for the holiday.

It was the first week of June and we were spending 2 days in a resort in Madikeri. Monsoons were supposed to have set in but there were no rains, only the constant forecast of rains and thunderstorms on ‘The Weather Channel’.  The time was 6.30 am and the morning was a cool one. There were sounds of birds chirping in the surroundings which frequently got louder as if all the birds of the world would have descended there for a conglomerate with each one wanting to give the others a piece of its mind but nobody intended to listen to the other. Or may be it is just my modern-day human interpretation as I see all around in the civilized world.

At one point, the sounds grew loud enough causing me to stop pressing my mind upon the story which wasn’t proving to be as good as its prequel and finally I shut the book close. I tuned in to the varying decibel of chirping and the bustling of leaves when the chirping sounds would allow. I fixed my gaze on the trees, rows of which lined on the hill slope below. I witnessed a leaf falling all the way from the highest branch of a tree, swaying loosely with the gentle breeze and its touching the ground. It was sheer tranquility and then as Dashy says ‘Time Travel‘ happened. The imaginative mind planted loved characters from the past into that scene amidst the tropical rain-forest. Cruising within the numerous plots and projections it created, I managed to catch it in its misgiving. In addition to the present setting, it had also been bombarding me with the memories of all the earlier journeys and escapades it had created for me with the same characters. I tried bringing it back to the solitude I was experiencing but in vain. It became tiring for me.

The fickle mind!

It always does this to me on holidays. It is easier to keep it in reins at home, however on vacations and travels it just breaks free as if in revolt. It lets me stay in the surroundings but robs me off my solitude.

I looked at the time in the phone. It showed 7.30 am. An hour had passed whereas it seemed like a fleeting moment. I got anxious looking inside the room through the glass door. I feared any moment Dhruv and husband would wake up and I will not get a moment to myself until the next morning. For the next few minutes, I fueled my anxiety with the same thought.

And then bang!

Dhruv opened the door and stepped outside with “Mummy, I am bored.”

“Bored? You have just woken up. How can you be bored first thing in the morning? How about a big good morning hug first?”

Hugs.

“Come I will brush your teeth and then we can read your book.”

Brushing his teeth while singing rhymes silly, I felt more in the present then when I was all to myself. I long to be with self in solitude and it becomes a chore when I am not practicing it at my usual spot at home. As I happen to understand while writing this account, beyond home the solitude gets translated into loneliness and may be this is the reason the mind adds my past soulful connections to the scenes.

Can I do something about my loneliness? I do not know at present.

Another trip to Coorg is coming up next week and I am wishing it does not end up in the sense it turned out to be last time.

Linking this post with #MondayMusings hosted by Corinne Rodrigues

#Monday Musings

13 thoughts on “The revolting mind #MondayMusings

  1. Shailaja V says:

    Solitude is a strange thing. We are actually the most productive and the happiest when we are alone. But we also need human connection to thrive and be comfortable with our sense of solitude.

    As a Mom I can empathise with your feeling of sadness at the dichotomy that solitude presents. Don’t worry. With time you’ll learn how to deal with it.

    Beautiful image of that leaf falling, by the way.

    Like

  2. Me Otherwise says:

    Being alone, often gets you into a mood of introspection. It is nice in many a ways, yet like what Shailaja has mentioned, it is important to have that human link in our lives too. I guess it is true that it helps us appreciate the solitude better.

    Like

  3. Esha Mookerjee-Dutta says:

    Beautiful post, Anamika! Solitude does strange things to us. Speaking for myself, I have found that at various stages in life, my reactions to solitude has varied. I love to enjoy solitude but at times, need to connect with people around as well. I definitely find that I enjoy both being with people and being alone when I have a balance of both. Too much of either can often pose a problem. I can almost ‘see’ you sitting and getting totally lost in that balcony…you’ve brought out the image very vividly through your descriptions.

    Like

  4. nabanita says:

    Solitude is some sort of a blessing for us, isn’t it? When everyone at home is asleep, those are the moments I look forward to really. But yes I see what you mean. Sometimes we need to be with people and then solitude becomes a burden. I loved this journey you took us on through this post. Thank You for that 🙂

    Like

  5. Vasantha Vivek says:

    Amazing post, Anamika !!!! You are doing magic with your words. And this time the image is so opt than before. I can imagine your feeling and can feel your heart too. Solitude is sometimes painful but somtimes delightful . Earlier when I tried to be in solitude, I ended in loneliness only. But now I learnt to be in solitude delightfully. Wishes for your next trip.

    Like

  6. sunainabhatia says:

    I am struggling to find that solitude too Anamika…..With two kids, and all the household work, it is impossible….because before solitude, sleep hits me…….Loved the poetic narration in the first half of your post….

    Like

  7. sampada says:

    I can find solitude in the midst of a buzzing crowd around me! While I do enjoy being alone at times, sometimes it just kills.

    Like you said, we have varied reactions to solitude..and being alone may not be the same everywhere.

    Beautiful imagery you created.

    Like

  8. Beloo Mehra says:

    This post read like poetry, Anamika. Almost a transcription of what you were experiencing. I guess it is a common human experience to both crave for some liberating solitude where we let our imagination run wherever it must and at the same time yearn for that connection with the concrete reality of life throbbing with all the intensity of human emotions and feelings and responses. I like the way you have described the scenery you were witnessing which led your mind to go on a journey it was seeking.

    Like

  9. Parul Thakur says:

    Solitude brings out the best in us. It’s where we start imagining and training our brains to see things a different light. I loved how this post was reflections from your morning. Enjoy Coorg!

    Like

  10. Mithila Menezes says:

    Solitude gives me the time to think of the best blogging ideas, and also helps me criticise each and every post I’ve written! 😀
    It really is crazy how a mind can work to fill the void of silence, emptiness and loneliness. There should be some ‘app’ to just fill the brain with white noise sometimes! 😛
    Do enjoy your vacations and have a good time, dear 🙂

    Like

  11. Shilpa Gupte says:

    Ah, solitude! It has become a best friend now!
    Earlier there used to be moments of loneliness galore, but now I yearn for such moments when I am with myself and my thoughts.
    And yes, I love the time travel it allows me to indulge in. I hardly ever travel anywhere physically so might as well do it mentally!
    Loved the description in the first paragraph. It transported me to the resort! I almost felt as if I too was enjoying the avian orchestra!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s