I blog about my life as a parent. I have been a parent for quite some time. 5 years to be precise. Ask me a question. Ask me whether these 5 long years have enabled comfort and confidence in me with respect to my parenting skills? I will definitely give you the answer but there will not be much to say except for a “hmm….umm”.
Each day is a new day. Each day brings new challenges, new situations to counter. I cannot rest on my past laurels because the confidence coming from such success quickly vanishes as soon as a new tricky scenario arises leaving me anxious and I commit mistakes, at times they are blunders. There are some days when I am able to deal with complex situations, attitudes and tantrums with the ease of a pause and a deep breath. While there are other days when I lose myself completely. I fret and vent out my rage and frustrations in spankings, yells and tears. I do not like this side of me, at all. I tell myself, ‘I am a work-in-progress’ and practice ways to deal with this aspect. I do not validate spanking or yelling as something I am doing for the benefit of my son, as I used to be told as a child. I consider it same as domestic violence. I am aware of my flaws and I understand the reasons behind them. Therefore, can a flawed parent suggest parenting tips?
Can a flawed parent suggest parenting tips?
This week, I am joining Friday Reflections with the topic ‘Top Parenting Tips’. However, I do not have any tips. I just have ideas to share for living a life of a ‘work-in-progress’ parent.
- Parenting is more about the parents rather than the child. It can be as easy and as difficult as any other job in this world can be.
- The child is a distinct soul and we, as parents, are merely the medium for bringing this soul into this world. There is a Karmic account to be settled in this Parent-child relationship. Hence, the child is not the property of the parents thus requiring to be treated in the same way as one grown up would treat another grown up.
- Acknowledge and nurture the inherent values and qualities of the child even though they may be different from ours.
- We have more power than we think we have. Practising guilt for our inadequacies and mistakes erodes our power making us weak. There is always another day to make amendments. When we cannot amend, it is worth making peace.
- Have fun with the children by blurring the boundaries between adulthood and childhood. There is no point living in water tight compartments. Let loose.
Finally, the most important idea, an idea which is not restricted solely to parenting but is more of a way of living.
Tune in to the inner voice and adhere to its calls. It is the light house which never fails in showing us the right direction even when we are manoeuvring our ship in the darkest hour.
Keep aside a few minutes each day to get in touch with our deeper inner selves for charging our batteries. Take one positive thought and work on it throughout the day. Reassess how we are doing by checking at regular intervals and, in the event of digression, steer back to the core of the thought of that day.