#Microblog Mondays 15 : How long can one take to accept parenthood?

This Sunday I met 2 women virtually.

One of them is an attractive personality. She dresses very well, cooks very well and she writes/blogs brilliantly. Her friends swear by the way she looks, the topics she writes about, the way she dresses and by everything she cooks and bakes. They want to be like her and never leave a chance to tell her so. 

But there is an issue. She wants to work but not many worthy opportunities came her way after she took a break of 1 year post child birth. And she blames parenthood. Her child is now 3 years old and motherhood and parenthood are still itchy subjects for her. She can debate and argue for huge lengths of time against the topic – ‘Parenthood is tough yet wonderful’ with the intention of winning every argument.

The other person has nothing great about her personality. She is short and fat. She is average in cooking and dressing up, nothing she can boast of. She never gets into arguments because she knows she is not good at winning them and nobody has ever said to her that they want to become like her, hence has no inclinations or expectations.

This person continued working for a couple of years after her child was born but then owing to many issues – family related, baby related, work related and her inability to strike a balance among all, she quit. She wanted to work too but could not. She struggled with herself for a year and then she drew the line. She accepted ‘Parenthood is wonderful’.

The first person holds the second one as fake.

PS: Let us not judge any one of the two for their beliefs.

Linking up with Microblog Mondays at Stirrup Queens. and #Monday Musings

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19 thoughts on “#Microblog Mondays 15 : How long can one take to accept parenthood?

  1. parulthakur24 says:

    Interesting! Not judging or anything but I think it’s truly important to accept the choices that one makes with a head held high. If it’s parenthood, it gets even more important cos one’s choice determines many other things. Isn’t it?

    Liked by 1 person

    • the bespectacled mother says:

      Yes, it is. Parenthood is a huge responsibility. But many a times, we can find it easier to accept our choices but not the circumstances which don’t go our way because there are aspirations to be achieved and then there are aspirations gone sour. I believe each one tries to find his/her equilibrium. The struggle persists until it is found.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. lifestyleproblog says:

    Well that is how we are… we judge mothers and the choices they make all the time…! I can understand that we don’t always make our own choices. Sometimes circumstances make them for us. That is pretty hard to accept. I get that! But to each their own… if someone does not think like you do, does not make them fake!

    Liked by 1 person

    • the bespectacled mother says:

      Agree totally. It is difficult to accept the circumstances if they do not go in sync with our plans but we still have a choice to either make peace in struggling or in settling. We judge each other when we get attached too much to our own thinking process and so we discount others’ way of life.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. delenn25 says:

    Interesting. I have been both a stay at home mom (because of unemployment) and a working mom. Both have advantages and disadvantages… And both are valid…as is everything in between. There are many types of families, and many ways to raise them. 🙂

    Like

  4. Corinne Rodrigues says:

    Ah I take objection to short and fat not having a great personality! I think I am both and have a great personality too! 😉
    Living life looking backwards makes it easy to put the blame on others and lash out at those who are happy with their choices!

    Liked by 1 person

    • the bespectacled mother says:

      My mistake Corinne. I looked at short and fat as not being a great personality because I would have looked at it from the first woman’s perspective whereas I should have seen it without the comparison. I am short and fat too.

      Like

    • the bespectacled mother says:

      I agree and the saddest part is that in every part of the world it is a woman causing it to other woman. Let it start with each one of us to stop judging other’s choices and to stop giving in to defending ourselves.

      Like

  5. Mali says:

    I always think it is very sad when someone judges someone else, and holds them as fake. The first person doesn’t know the inner thoughts of the second person. Maybe she doesn’t “win” the argument, but that doesn’t mean her argument is any less valid, or that she doesn’t have hidden depths. The very fact that she might feel less confident or less attractive might point to hidden struggles, hidden battles that she has had to face, and maybe she’s won those, and thinks they are more important than arguments. Or maybe she feels under pressure to insist that parenthood is wonderful. If there’s one thing that infertility has taught me, it is that we never know another person’s struggles. Interesting post, thank you!

    Liked by 2 people

    • the bespectacled mother says:

      Thank you Mali for analysing the post in detail. This makes me think may be, for the second person, the struggles were not about the personality. May be, yes, the people around her insisted her to accept Parenthood is wonderful and she gave in. Or it may be about infertility too. Fighting infertility is not easy as we all know and may be she accepted because she might have lost the energy to fight further. And then we will have to analyse the first one too because she must be having her own fights. She does not want to give up fighting for what she thinks will make her identity.

      Like

  6. Vinitha says:

    Sometimes I wonder if it is really possible to go with no judgements at all! I, myself, go through both these phases every now and then. Sometimes I like parenting the most. Sometimes I miss working the most. With that changes my outlook too. Am not sure anymore!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. ajaybpai says:

    If both the ladies are happy in their own individual way .. what is the concern? I kind-of agree with the 2nd lady, because, at some point, we need to be in sync with the reality . Once we are in sync, the thoughts become crystal clear, slowly one would understand, where to focus and how to evolve.. its just a matter of time.

    did i make some sense?

    Anamika – loved this write up.

    Liked by 1 person

    • the bespectacled mother says:

      Yes, I get what you are saying. You are also talking about accepting the situation and to control what is in one’s control. Thanks for appreciating.

      Like

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