Dhruv turned 4 recently. This was the first time he was excited most about the concept of his own birthday since until now he had only been attending others’ birthday parties. Adding to his excitement I searched for my old photographs in my computer to show him my childhood photos.
This is my letter to Dhruv introducing him to my 4 year old self.
Yesterday it was your 4th birthday and I was excitedly showing you photographs from my childhood. You asked me who is this child pointing your finger to me in the photo. I told you this is your mama, this is me. I could see that you were not convinced. I understood how could you be? How could you imagine your mummy to be as small as the child in that photo?
But to tell you the truth even your mama was 4 year old at one time.
She hated drinking milk in the same way as you do and just like you the only vegetable she ate at that time was bhindi (okra). She did not cry on her first day at the big school.
She used to ask her parents, who are your Naanu and Nani, to plan picnic at the zoo every Sunday. Now I do not remember whether it was the picnic or the sight of animals which she enjoyed most. May be it were the animals since she once cried a lot because her parents could not carry the lion’s cub home.
Even she loved eating chocolates the way you do. Her mother had another small baby to take care of in addition to your mama and had limited energies, hence was not able to brush her teeth at night. So this little girl in the photo had to pay the price in the form of decayed teeth which had to be extracted sitting in the chair at the dentist’s clinic. Now you know why I run after your life with the toothbrush in my hand every night and morning.
She was also as inquisitive, as you, hurling out her never ending questions to her mother. Once her mother got very exhausted tendering to her tsunami of questions and when she could no longer provide satisfactory answers, this innocent little girl slapped hard on her mother’s cheek shocking her. I am so glad Dhruv for you understand and hold onto your questions for another time when I tell you that I am tired.
This girl whom you were pointing to in the photo and who I claim to be me was a quiet and a sober child. I know this is the point you would find the toughest to imagine because the whole day you hear me voicing out various directions and instructions in conjunction with your name at various pitches and decibels. The only time you find me quiet is when I get drained and take my time out. Sobriety…..you would ask what it is? You might feel the need to google it too (wishful thinking on your part for I have still not taught you to read it all) since you can see no traces of it on my face now. I cringe my nose, create creases on my forehead, jump around the house inspite of my heavy weight causing shudders to the family living on the floor below and dramatize a lot while reading and telling you stories.
Continuing further, this girl in the photo was docile and showed obedience without asking any questions. I hope you are not thinking about why the characteristics and traits change in people as they grow up because in the absence of this change thing, your life in your eyes would have been so much more better. You would have been never denied of the large quantities of chocolates, cookies, juices etc which you keep pestering for having a docile me. But, my child its fortunate and unfortunate at the same time that people including your mama change with time for good.
Like you and unlike you, I was once a little child of 4 years too.
Originally posted on World of Moms