Certified Mom : I can never be

I have been sitting on this post for the last 3 days hoping to discover a GPS navigation tool to show me the direction in which this post was heading to. But just like my 4 month old Micromax mobile, this GPS system also kept crashing leaving me at bay, lost and directionless. Hence unable to find the optimum route I headed back home, opened the writing pane and started all over again.

If you were able to peek into my drafts and happen to read what intelligent stuff I had written initially for this post you might mistake it as a research paper or a pravachan (holy discourse) straight from a ‘Parenting Guru’. When I went through all that today I imagined patting my back with ‘Oh what great stuff‘. Yet in reality I slapped myself (I am lying) for I did not find a bit of myself in those lines. Therefore, signing a self-agreement copy to spare my serious side for some other social issues for may be next Microblog Monday, I think I will treat this post in a lighter vein. As if I have a choice of doing it in any other way considering the fact that I am no expert at parenting. I can offer no parenting advice and I have no do’s and don’ts. I am on a journey and can only share my experiences with you.

I had enrolled myself 4 years back in Dhruv’s school of parenting and I had been dreaming of my graduating from his school and getting an opportunity to wear that black robe with the graduation cap holding a certificate (just like the one he got to wear last week on his last day at nursery school) saying –

Ms. Anamika Agnihotri has passed with flying colours and is now a certified mom. She is hereby entitled to formulate and implement her own parenting laws, the obedience to which is compulsory by all means.’ 

But no, this is not happening. I have recently got this understanding that this is a life long learning course where I design the course structure based on research and my instincts, attempt to implement them, watch the lessons working or falling flat and then start the re-work.

An amateurish flow chart of what I do at the school. This is a loop with no end.

The only certificate that I can aspire for will say –

‘Qualified for Eternal Learning’

If you think I finally found the optimum route (flow of thoughts) for completing this post (the way I wanted to) then my answer is no. With a route map in my hand my situation is jaate the Japan pahunch gaye cheen samajh gaye na.

Image courtesy : This image is from the bespectacled mother’s personal image files and any attempt to use it by an external source can only be permitted with the consent of the owner.

Linking this post to Write Tribe Pro Blogger Challenge


  1. Absolutely right there with you- there is no “graduation” as a mother…unless you count when they leave the nest as adults?! Even then, we keep on mothering and loving and helping and guiding (if all is good with the relationship). I’ve learned that as soon as I *think* I have this motherhood thing down pat, Evelyn goes and changes everything up on me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was thinking of writing that the passing out is not going to happen until the next 20 years and then I realise this would be so untrue. I will not cease to be a mom after he leaves the house or gets married. On the lighter side, I will graduate to become the Great Indian Mother-in-law. 😀

      Liked by 2 people

  2. It’s a hilarious take on real life struggle…I liked it and these are the days when I heave a sigh of relief that I have one less job to do on my mind…


    1. I am so glad to have you back in the comments space and for bringing a wide smile on your face.


    1. Thank you Parul. I guess though I cannot become a certified mom I can try my hand at becoming a certified flow chart preparer 😛

      Liked by 1 person

  3. That would have been nice, if we get the certification. But the question remains do our moms got certified yet? I think we just have to self certify us, maybe for every birthday do a self evaluation and pat in the back ourselves accompanied with a good job and move on to the next year’s task. I don’t know!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Vinitha….my awe of you continues 🙂 that you raised this perspective of certifying our moms first before wishing for a certificate for ourselves. Priority.


    1. Aww…thank you so much Yvette. Now I know that I am not the only one searching for the GPS navigation tool but then your posts are more brilliant than brilliant so they are worth all the time they ask for 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Framing and hanging it on the wall….I am already looking at the white wall in front of me 😛


  4. Hi Anamika ma’am,

    Haha… I loved your creativity with the flowchart. And yeah your thoughts are kinda refreshing and your writing style is so light than it brings smile while reading your post.

    Qualified for Eternal Learning’ that is so true! Our moms are so special. I got the link to this post while checking out your twitter account. Glad to connect to you.

    – Rohan Chaubey.


    1. Thank you so much for your kind words Rohan. Your appreciation of my post and the flowchart have lighted up my spirits. 🙂 To add further, I write heavy and thoughtful stuff too but only on Mondays like the monday upvaas thing 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  5. hahahahah! Buwahahah! ROFL! While I was reading, I wasn’t able to control my laughter. I still wonder, what made you write this post! What could have been your emotion while writing this particular one? Why Why Why? A certified MOM! But then we never enjoy the certificates, do we? Very wisely said, the certificate could only be for Eternal Learning! The intial part was real hilarious! Never knew, that you had a funny bone too!


    1. Hahaha….And I could not control my laughter reading your comment. Well the certified mom idea was not the intent initially but as per the last lines of the post I was looking for the way to Japan and reached Cheen instead. And it appears reaching Cheen did not prove to be disappointing. Some more hahahaha….


    1. Fun….yes. its the learning attitude with a little bit of sense of humour which will take the mothers and the grandmothers afar 🙂


  6. Thanks for providing me this link promptly, Anamika !!! ROFL is not an exaggeration. ….. but a reality …… my belly aches …… hilarious post …… It also brought my good old memories of my profession …… flowchart …… algorithm …… program …… decoding ……. input……..output …… From a happyily ever learning mom ………….

    Liked by 1 person

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