Memo to my Boss (Biting is unprofessional)

Dear Sir,

I am writing this somewhat reluctantly, but after verbal attempts to negotiate broke down without resolution, I am left with little choice. I have been in your employment for over 18 months now, and whilst I enjoy my post immensely, a few changes to my contract are required in order for me to attain some work / life balance.

I wouldn’t usually take a formal approach to this kind of thing, but it can be tricky to hold a sensible conversation with you. You regularly laugh in my face when I am trying to express my dissatisfaction with something you have done, and I find your interruptions – usually involving a request to sing or provide food – rather rude when I am in the middle of making an important point.