The year 2014 started off on a good note. For the most part of the year I was able to keep my sanity and stability intact. I can pat on my back for being a fine parent. I was able to keep Dhruv busy and engrossed with different activities. I was able to instil love for books in him. We religiously read books together before sleeping on most of the nights. I laid out rules and worked with Dhruv to follow them as a mother-son team. There were days when he refused and declined to co-operate and threw tantrums. On those days, I either managed to get him out for long walks or just let him be resulting in calming down effect.
And then there were the last 4 months of the year when I was unable to do anything of the above. We shifted back to India in September. I was terribly stressed out, first, by the September heat of Delhi and later by the pressure of moving, packing, unpacking and settling down in Bangalore. In addition, there were certain financial, emotional and physical health issues to deal with. As a result all my parenting skills, stability and sanity went for a toss. I lost my cool often. I yelled out frequently. As much as I hate to admit, I spanked Dhruv frequently. I saw myself loosing respect in Dhruv’s eyes . The power of aggression resulted in the disintegration of our mother-son team. Gradually, everything that was asked him for began to get turned down with a blatant denial.
On most days I promised myself to remain stable but failed almost immediately. On most days I hated myself for acting in the manner which I never intended to do as a parent and which was totally unacceptable to me.
As December end inched closer, I resolved to work on my inner strength, stability and patience with more determined efforts. I have experienced in the past that all the child’s tantrums and issues termed as difficult behaviour can be easily dealt with if the parent acts out patiently.
I have signed up for a pledge at afineparent.com to become and remain a fine parent in 2015. I believe ‘Great Parents are not born, they are made’. I am putting up a copy of the pledge in my house where I can never loose sight of it.
I am committed.
Tell me what do you feel about the whole pledge thing?
Have you ever tried pledging to become a better parent or for that matter a better individual?
Do you think becoming a fine and better parent is at all important?
Will you sign up for this pledge?