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The Good vs Bad question

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For sometime I have been fielding questions about what is good or bad and who is good or bad. The other day Dhruv came up and asked me, “Is shut-up a bad word?” to which I replied that it is rude for a person to tell somebody to shut up. Since one answer is never enough to clear the air of confusion in his head, another question popped up, “Is it only rude for older people to say shut up or is it the same for children too?” I answered, “It is rude for both children and adults.” His next, “But, is it bad?” “Yes, being rude is bad“, I said. “No No. You did not answer. Is shut-up a bad word?” he pestered. Realizing the loop I created I told, “Yes, it is.” Finally satisfied, his next tale began about him breaking friendship with a certain boy from the school bus because that friend spoke bad words to him and the bad word was shut up.

Another round of Good vs Bad discussion took place upon watching the movie Angry Birds.

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“Is Red good or bad? Is he bad because he likes nobody and nobody likes him? Are the pigs good or bad? Is the King Pig bad because he stole the birds’ eggs? Stealing is bad so he must be bad?“

There were pauses between his questions which I could not fill with my answers the first time he posed them to me. But, the good thing about him is he never forgets his unanswered questions or those for which he does not get satisfactory answers and thus he keeps coming back. The problem, however, is I have subjective answers and Dhruv desires objectivity.

Going ahead with my undesired subjectivity, I explained, “None of them – Red, the pigs or the King Pig were absolutely good or bad. Red was bad for his anger issues and his problems with everyone on the birds island but he saved all the eggs  in the end so he was good. The pigs were good because they followed their King’s orders sincerely but since they were part of the stealing the eggs act hence they were bad. The King Pig was bad for destroying the birds island and running off with the eggs, still he was good for the pigs of his kingdom as he got eggs for them to eat.”

Continuing my discourse, “Therefore, you see, nobody is a complete good or bad. Even you and I are both good and bad.” To this he started crying repeating “We are good people, we are not bad.”

On such days I feel how difficult can it be to get things right.

How would you deal with such questions?

Linking this post with Microblog Mondays and Monday Musings

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Blasphemy!

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Since time immemorial, in the patriarchal Indian culture, daughter-in-laws have been entrusted with the job of carrying the baton of their acquired (by the virtue of marriage) families’ traditions and customs. There is no other way around it. The ‘moving on’ from their parents’ customs to their in-laws’ customs is certain, whether it is immediate or a kind of an induction process in supposedly liberal families. Nobody asks them if the change is making any sense to them or if they are understanding what they are meant to do. The whole point is to do. What if they question? What if they seek rationale? Now, a culture which does not encourage the daughters to question, how can it allow the daughter-in-laws to do the same? It is blasphemy.

Somewhere, a daughter-in-law evolves over the years. She finds her calling. She finds a faith which is open to giving answers irrespective of her bodily being, a faith which places her out of congruence with those indisputable customs and rituals. She has once been chastised and today, her unshakable faith in herself emboldens her to test the familiar waters once again. This time she is not going to sink.

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Linking this post with Microblog Mondays and Monday Musings

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Awareness makes parenting easier

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Children come with their own personalities which, at times, can be way distinct from that of the parents’ and may come across as a shocker. It would have been a boon if parenting was an exact science where combining hydrogen and oxygen would always give H2O i.e. water but, sadly, it doesn’t because in the laboratory of life, catalyst being the child, combining hydrogen and oxygen has the tendency of creating a hydrogen bomb ready to cause an explosion. Thus, each one of us, as a parent, has to find one’s own means, one’s own ways. And, as if this wasn’t enough, we have the stars and the planets ruling the birth charts providing validations for the personality traits. Hence, the question  is whether parenting should function under the limitations of such validations passing the blame on the stars or there can be alternative paths explored?

Here is an excerpt of the guest post, I wrote addressing the above question in the personal context, which appeared on Sunita Rajwade‘s blog Mumbaionahigh.com last week. Continue reading →

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Breaking the silence #PeriodPride

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The initiative ‘Period Pride’ has been going on for a week at Write Tribe and I was not sure if I want to write about this or do I have the courage to tell my menstruation tale on a public platform. And then I read Tulika’s post this morning which prompted me to take the plunge.

I was 12 years old when I first bled. Thankfully, it was winter vacation and me and my brother were playing in our home’s lawn with our pup whom we had brought home a week back. 2 carpenters were working at home at that time. My mother had come to speak briefly with the carpenters when she looked into my direction and noticed something. She immediately ushered me inside the bedroom. Continue reading →

The revolting mind #MondayMusings

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I was sitting outside in the room’s balcony with a cup of tea and a book which I had packed along for the holiday.

It was the first week of June and we were spending 2 days in a resort in Madikeri. Monsoons were supposed to have set in but there were no rains, only the constant forecast of rains and thunderstorms on ‘The Weather Channel’.  The time was 6.30 am and the morning was a cool one. There were sounds of birds chirping in the surroundings which Continue reading →

When mummy killed interest! #MondayMusings

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Him: Mummy, can I paint with water colours?

Me: It is not the right time now. I will be serving dinner in next 5 minutes.

Him: I am getting bored.

Me: Wait for 5 minutes and we will have dinner.

Him: What do I do in the next 5 minutes? Stay bored?.

Me: Hmm, you can colour using colour pencils in the meantime. Water colours will be too messy at this time. You can use them to paint tomorrow after you come back from school. Continue reading →

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The wait is finally over #BarAThon Day 7

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You have been dusty for a while.

Okay! For a long while.

You have been donning the corners waiting to be put to use.

You do know, but, that day is not going to come . You have been rendered useless for the last 3 years and there is no hope, henceforth too.

You have tried everything in your capacity to hold my attention – relentless stares, soundless cries and dust storms on movements.

You are despaired for nothing works on my thick hide.

You accuse me of being lazy for which I would like to correct you. It is called ‘laid-back’, sounds a lot more better.

If I am not wrong, you seem to have mapped up my mind which has been dreaming of buying a new oven.

You are alluring me, these days, with the money you will fetch me to fulfill my dream.

Okay. Fine. Thank you.

I want to congratulate you for your time has arrived. You have moved up occupying the top slot on my priority list. The grandparents left today after their 10 days stay. The Bar-A-Thon is ending today with this post. Thus, there is nothing more important on my mind than you for now.

I promise to find a new home for you in the next 15 days.

The old bookshelf, the pram, the high chair, the car seat – your wait is finally over.

This post has been written for Day 7 of the 7 day blogging challenge BAR-A-THON.

Today’s prompt is ‘Promise (to yourself/someone else)’.

I am with Team #CrimsonRush

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Here are my other posts for the Bar-A-Thon

Day 1 –  Unlikely Trance #BarAThon Day 1

Day 2 – Silent Dilemma #BarAThon Day 2

Day 3 – Move your body, yeah! #BarAThon Day 3

Day 4 – Spare us, oh gal! #BarAThon Day 4

Day 5 – Nostalgia pint-sized #BarAThon Day 5

Day 6 – Wishful Thinking or Idealism #BarAThon Day 7

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Wishful thinking or Idealism #BarAThon Day 6

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This morning while I was on my morning walk, there were loud noises coming from the basement. I had one ‘Mummyknowitall’ for company who told me there was a quarrel going on between  2 people over 2-wheeler parking.  I came to know one of them had been physically aggressive indulging in fist fight. And then she said, “Punjabis are like this, aggressive and over the top.”

So, it boiled down to labeling. The act of fist fighting.was undesirable in itself but labeling the doer on the basis of the state he came from? Can we not do without it? Or is it just wishful thinking on my part? And, I am not a Punjabi.

It  is not just about this incident. I have a long list of what can be considered as wishful thinking.

  1. People valuing relationships based on the concept of ‘dil ke rishte’ (connections of the heart) rather than superficiality of labels and position in relations.
  2. People considering each other on face value rather than indulging in reading between the lines.
  3. People minding their own businesses rather than meddling in others.
  4. Religious people showing acceptance for those who do not follow rituals and practices same as theirs or those who practice none at all.
  5. Shutting down of the numerous ‘dharmik channels’ because most of the Babas and Maas, through their preaching on these channels, only end up complicating the understanding of God for the common folks. They, instead of empowering the people and bringing them closer to God, become the self-assuming Gods themselves and tell people how vain they are.

The list is long but I am leaving it at 5 for this post.

This post has been written for Day 6 of the 7 day blogging challenge BAR-A-THON.

Today’s prompt is ‘Wishful thinking’.

I am with Team #CrimsonRush

barathon

Here are my other posts for the Bar-A-Thon

Day 1 –  Unlikely Trance #BarAThon Day 1

Day 2 – Silent Dilemma #BarAThon Day 2

Day 3 – Move your body, yeah! #BarAThon Day 3

Day 4 – Spare us, oh gal! #BarAThon Day 4

Day 5 – Nostalgia pint-sized #BarAThon Day 5

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Nostalgia pint-sized #BarAThon Day 5

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“Dhroooov, where are you going to running with that bag? Come back. I need to sort out all your old stuff. Ufff!” I screamed,throwing my hands in the air, and followed him to the next room.

In the other room, he had turned the bag upside down and there were memories lying scattered all around him. I stood there standing by the door observing him as he was arranging those memories on the floor.

Memories from the days when he started walking always intending to go bare foot.

Memories from the days we spent together roaming around the town on foot. He wouldn’t agree to get tucked up in the stroller and so I happened to push the stroller with one hand and held his small hand with the other.

Memories from the days when braving the cold, after the rains stopped, we used to venture out because the joy of jumping in puddles matched to none.

Memories from the days when we spent the lazy sunny afternoons sitting on the benches at the train station watching the trains come and go.

Memories also come in pairs of different colours, I realised, perhaps.

“Are you here to buy them?”, he enquired.

His question broke my string of thoughts. He had put up a sign board saying ‘SALE’ and was quoting a price ranging from Rs. 10 to Rs 109.

“Who are you and what are you selling?”, I posed hoping to get an interesting answer.

“I am Agent Tiny and I am selling tiny shoes”, said he.

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Picture credit – Pixabay

The setting is fictionalised but the memories are real.

This post has been written for Day 5 of the 7 day blogging challenge BAR-A-THON.

Today’s prompt is ‘Tiny shoes’.

I am with Team #CrimsonRush

barathon

Here are my other posts for the Bar-A-Thon

Day 1 –  Unlikely Trance #BarAThon Day 1

Day 2 – Silent Dilemma #BarAThon Day 2

Day 3 – Move your body, yeah! #BarAThon Day 3

Day 4 – Spare us, oh gal! #BarAThon Day 4

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Spare us, Oh Gal! #BarAThon Day 4

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Scene outside a classroom –

Few boys were kneeling in front of a girl with folded hands.

Curiously, I lent in my ear to find out what was going on. I heard the pleading tone in their voices. They were requesting the girl to go easy on them for that day with the unit test since they had not prepared well and only co-operation by sharing answers and cheating could save them from flunking. They were blabbering they feared the girl more than the invigilator for getting caught red-handed while cheating.

The girl bitten by the bugs of audacity, honesty and truthfulness followed this principle in her life – ‘Neither will I cheat, nor will I let others cheat’.

She was the torch bearer in her class when it came to catching classmates cheating in the tests and exams and reporting them to the invigilator.

Can you imagine this could be a true story? Do you, by any chance, know a character like her in your life?

This post has been written for Day 4 of the 7 day blogging challenge BAR-A-THON.

Today’s prompt is ‘Caught red-handed’.

I am with Team #CrimsonRush

barathon

Here are my other posts for the Bar-A-Thon

Day 1 –  Unlikely Trance #BarAThon Day 1

Day 2 – Silent Dilemma #BarAThon Day 2

Day 3 – Move your body, yeah! #BarAThon Day 3